So tonight at church I learned a LOT. Ben's sermon definitely hit home, & it is so weird because I haven't gone to the Post *Southeast's college ministry* in a month, & for some reason I decided to go tonight, & it was amazing. So as I said before, Alex & I are doing a devo. book called 101 questions before you get engaged, & when we were doing in a while ago, one of the questions was, "What emotion is it hard for you to express?" And it didn't take me long to write down the word SYMPATHY. It's not common for us to think of sympathy as an emotion, but it is; it's a state of your heart. And a lot of times I really find myself not caring about what other people are going through or I do care what they are going through, I just don't sympathize with them at all. It's really a struggle that I have because like I learned tonight, God has given us so much grace and so much mercy that we do not even deserve. And He has given that to us because He loves us & wants us to show that same attitude towards others. A lot of times when people tell me they're going through a tough time or something bad has gone on in their life I always think of a way to justify it. Like "Oh, you made a bad decision, & now you have to pay for it," kind of thing, & that is not the right attitude at all. Sometimes bad things in life just happen. Sometimes people have to go through a situation to build character, & no one knows why or when or where or how but only God knows that kind of thing, and only He can judge us. Ben talked to us tonight about how the opposite of mercy is being bound to the trivial things in life, & that is so true. I think that because I do this little thing right & that little thing right that because of ME, I am going to be rewarded. But the truth is, nothing that I do will ever gain reward. I am only who I am today by the grace and MERCY of Jesus Christ. Nothing have I done to earn his love, & nothing have I done to earn His forgiveness except choose to follow Him. How do we get a heart full of mercy? Well Ben was talking about the beattitudes in Matthew chapter 5 & the way to have a merciful and sympathetic heart is the be meek; to hunger & thirst for righteousness; to be poor in spirit. They are all ways of how we deal with God, & when we realize our brokenness, we can fully understand and sympathize with the brokenness of other people. I am going to work on this a whole lot. I truly want to be a girl o f mercy. I want to be a friend that will cry for you when something spirals out of control in your life. I want to genuinely feel for others who are hurting, and that is my prayer right now; for a heart of mercy.
- b -
